There’s this quiet truth among coaches who are building their practice, we don’t use every tool we’ve ever learned. And we definitely don’t open every session with a worksheet or some pre-planned framework. Most of the time, the tools that stick are the ones that feel natural to use, the ones with no friction in using them and the ones that support where our clients are at instead of distracting from it.
In The Coaches Lab, one of the most common things we hear is, “I just want to know what works in real-time.” Not in theory. Not in a training manual. But in a real-life conversation, with a real human, who is feeling overwhelmed or stuck or totally unmotivated.
So what do we actually use?
We use frameworks that create clarity without over-coaching. That’s if. And we share those frameworks all of the time. We ask questions that aren’t leading, but that still nudge a shift. And honestly, we use a secret weapon, some call it a strategy and it’s very simple. It’s silence. A lot of silence. Silence is one of the most underused tools in coaching, but it’s also one of the most powerful. It creates room for reflection, and it respects the client’s pace. It can be hard to sit in silence, and so if you are a coach, I challenge you to count to 10 slowly before breaking the silence. You’ll be amazed at what comes out of those seconds.
We use check-ins that feel more like conversations rather than assessments.
We use our instincts, the ones we’ve sharpened by doing the work ourselves.
And we use repetition. Not to nag, but to reflect back what someone said last week, or last month, and ask if it still feels true. Ask if it’s still a challenge. Find out where they are at.
You don’t need to master 50 tools to be a solid coach. You just need a few that align with your style and pace, tools that help you show up more fully, not more perfectly. And if you’re still figuring out what those are, you’re in good company.
